Kdramas Are My Safe Space, My Kolbaalish
'Kolbaalish' is a sausage shaped pillow that adorns every Bengali household and is the ultimate comfort companion.
I had to think a bit about what to write today as I tried searching in vain for specific censorship rules for Kdramas in Korea’s broadcasting act. Yes, I was indeed going through reams and reams of legal jargon and different articles. The search is still underway, and until I am able to find the exact statement, I am not going to write about censorship!! This is the pedantic researcher in me acting out. So I thought why not provide a brief explanation about HOW I got into watching Kdramas.
My initial brush with Korean stories had been through Hang Sang-Soo films. His films have been screened in film festivals worldwide and would perhaps appeal to the most ardent cinephile and I still do enjoy his films. There’s a certain starkness to his films and the most important thing about Korea I gathered from his films was drinking Soju!! I do recommend his films if you have a wide film viewing palate.
And while I was studying in the Netherlands, I did a group project on Kpop fandom and analysing the viral sensation of the song Gangnam Style. At that time, I also happened to have a classmate from South Korea!! It is a pity I did not start learning Korean that time as I would have been able to practice speaking with her (although she is now inviting me to Seoul to stay with her and travel :D). Further, whilst doing my PhD research, as part of my writing I had to read up on the cultural policies of Korea (yes, I actually have a summaries of cultural policies of Korea, Singapore, Japan and China!!).
I also have fond memories of visiting the Korean Cultural Centre cafe in my home city Delhi with my girlfriends to eat shin ramyun noodles. This is during the years 2012-14 when shin ramyun or Korean food had not taken off in India yet. Ramyun is still my go to comfort food, along with ofcourse a Kdrama now. But coming to the main juncture or point when I finally indulged in watching Kdramas, 2020 was when it all began.
I was in my last year of my PhD, also the year when well, the COVID pandemic happened to all of us. Suffice it to say, all of us in some measures have suffered trauma and anxiety over the restrictions, isolations, personal losses and lockdowns. Amidst the raging pandemic and pressure of PhD submission, I hit rock bottom emotionally and mentally. I was also at the time trying to break away from an emotionally abusive relationship. All in all, 2020 had me cooped up in a corner. This is when a friend, who thankfully lived within 5kms radius of my home (because Melbourne’s lockdown rules did not allow you to go beyond 5kms radius) suggested I try watching Kdramas, as a mere distraction and for the storylines. She felt since I enjoy films and dramas, I might like them, and she recommended starting with Crash Landing on You.
And voila, before I knew it, my day was divided into sleeping, eating, writing, watching Kdramas and repeat. Watching Kdramas became my path for escapism and the fantastical world that was created allowed me to let go off my worry and anxiety over my thesis. It is difficult to encapsulate the feeling of relief when you are able to hold onto that one thing that allows you to cope and not drown. For me watching Kdrama was that tree branch that let me float, and importantly hope.
As someone who has constantly researched in pop culture, it is difficult for my brains to stop analysing and thinking when I watch a film or drama. Surprisingly though, Kdramas sucked me in a way that let me suspend my reality and believe in the stories and characters of the drama without overanalysing it. This is not to say my brain still does not whir into action when watching a Kdrama, my subconscious is always active, but atleast I am able to enjoy the stories without my analytical brain becoming too loud for my liking. Which is why watching Kdramas is an intensely emotional and cathartic experience for me. It is a world where majority of the screenwriters are female and the men are sensitive, caring and considerate. It is a world of ninetailed foxes, goblins, mermaids and where emotions rule the roost. It is a world I deeply cherish and I feel like I can never let it go now. Some people will call it fanatic fandom or madness, but if I have to sum it up in one sentence, ‘Kdramas are my safe space, my kolbaalish’ and I think that is ‘nuff said.